We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
