It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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