What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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