glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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