i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
