Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
