so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
