You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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