what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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