Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
