I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
