i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
