dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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