Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
