The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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