I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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