So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
