My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
