honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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