Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
