so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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