U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
