Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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