before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
