She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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