I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
