I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
