Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
