Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
