walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
