those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
