Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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