he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
