you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
