We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
