You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
