I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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