So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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