I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
