just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
