Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
