Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
