; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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