it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize