this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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