No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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