She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize