I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
