I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
