How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
