at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
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