I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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