Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
