But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
