if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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