"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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