dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize