are you still at the devil's house?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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