Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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