Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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