maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Semen is not good for contacts.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize